Happy 1st Birthday Enza

Wistful for a world of ease –

Where humans dance to the daily drum

In serene synchronicity;

In illustrious isolation.

Social starvation.

Yet, I yearned for a companion,

A familiar;

A physical manifestation of my solitary soul –

Just something to feel whole

Again.

Dark days of depression descended

Upon blissfully bright days in August,

And the lightness of being

Burdened my body

With heavy heartache.

Dragging my dead body

From bed

Became demanding.

Pillows protested for me to stay asleep –

To drift into The Garden of Earthly Delights,

Determined to prolong unconscious nights.

I needed someone to care for,

To raise me from my lethal languor.

In August 2021,

I travelled to Colliers Wood,

To collect the last of a Rex-x-Dutch litter.

A baby bunny

Called Lunar Junior after her dad.

I immediately felt less sad.

Her bright bulbous eyes

Welcomed me with fantastic faith;

Transcendental trust.

Caring for this thing was immediately a must.

Her celestial aura brightened my nights –

Filling the void with golden lights.

October 2021,

She was spayed and died for several minutes.

My heart collapsed in hellish guilt,

For my decisions had made her body wilt –

As though a parched sunflower

Ravenous for the sun’s luminous power.

Nights of drip-feeding

And a ruined Halloween,

Closed any blank space standing between

Us.

Supporting you to stand,

To sleep

And eat –

Was a tremendous feat,

But worth every single agonizing second

Because I beckoned

You back to life.

My life is wonderful with you in it.

I was ready to quit.

I aided you back to a realm of reason

And begged you to understand

The choices I made

To have you spayed.

You are now one

My little, brilliant bun.

When you stomp your feet at 5am,

And throw your food bowl against your cage,

I do not feel rage.

You give me a reason to get out of bed –

To feed us both,

And embrace unforeseen growth.

You follow me,

Lick me,

Jump on me,

Sometimes nibble me.

You speak to me.

You have become my little shadow –

A shadow forever aglow.